If you choose a better divorce by using the collaborative divorce method, it's likely you will save money over traditional litigation. From the perspective of a litigator who has fought many cases in court, very few people come out happy with the financial or emotional outcome chosen by the judge. The judge, though they mean well, does not know you personally. The system is not designed to allow the judge to get to know you or dive deep into what is important to you. The Court, generally, may find something else important and sideline your viewpoint. The reality is fighting a case in court can be one of the most expensive, emotionally taxing methods to divorce. When a party is not happy at the end of a trial, there is also the option to appeal – leading to an even more expensive process.
Choosing an alternative to a divorce in court can cost you less, even with a team of professionals helping you along the way. How is that possible? The goal of Nevada Collaborative Divorce is to have a mediation-style meeting. This process tends to decrease acrimony, focus on the needs of both sides, and allow you to talk things out. Accompanying you are the jointly-hired financial professional and the emotional support of your coach and attorney. Questions can be answered on the spot, instead of letters or emails back and forth over days or weeks. When both sides are ready to talk and get the case resolved, a meaningful back-and-forth discussion can take place. People feel heard.
When people feel heard, they tend to listen more. The entire process puts both sides’ needs at the forefront of the process. Cutting out the tactical planning and gamesmanship that is part of fighting in court can save thousands of dollars. While there is no way to quote a set amount because every family is different and everyone has different goals, the process is designed to have meaningful meetings that resolve the case efficiently.
The primary benefit of going with a collaborative divorce is that it puts your needs at the front and center of the discussion. This may seem strange, but when fighting a case in court, your goals will not always align with the Court or attorney’s goals. Believe it or not, there are some attorneys that will sell you on how “aggressive” they can be. This translates to more work for the lawyer and means fighting over each perceived wrong, filing motions, and making arguments to press your side to “win” with the judge. Not only is this expensive, but it can be emotionally exhausting (for both sides). Any goodwill you may have had with your soon-to-be-ex-spouse is burned to the ground.
If you have a discussion in an open meeting and value your own perspective along with respecting your spouse’s point of view (even if you disagree with it), you can make headway by working together instead of using a system designed to make you adversaries. The mental health coaches are trained to help the parties communicate more effectively. Focusing on what you agree on instead of where you disagree can take you further down the road of settlement. Certainly, there are points where both sides have a tough time (alimony comes to mind). But the reality is explaining this, with divorce professionals there to guide you, can create divorce terms you can live with.
If you are considering an alternative to divorcing in court, give our team a call. We'll walk you through the process and explain the many benefits of a collaborative divorce. We look forward to working with you towards a money-saving, emotionally-beneficial divorce for both parties.
Children of divorced parents undeniably fare best when parents can communicate well and collaborate. To facilitate this, divorced or separated parents need to create a parenting plan.
Most people understand that such a plan defines how the parents will share physical child custody, also known as a custody schedule. This includes the day-to-day schedule during the school year and the schedule during the summer break and holiday periods.
A comprehensive parenting plan includes many other important items: for instance, the parenting plan should identify when and how parents will communicate, when and how a parent and child will communicate during non-custodial periods, and how parents will handle transitions between households. The plan will also include day-to-day decisions such as who makes and attends doctor and dental appointments, who will correspond with teachers and attend parent-teacher meetings, what extracurricular and summer activities the child will participate in, transitioning of items between households, and payment and reimbursement of supplies, clothing and equipment.
Furthermore, the plan should define when input should be solicited from the other parent, what information must be shared between the parents, how to correspond with teachers, coaches, and healthcare professionals, and guidelines regarding travel.
It is also advised that parents inform the other parent about the routines, rules and expectations in their home, with the goal, if possible, of having some continuity between homes.
Lastly, a parenting plan is meant to evolve as a child matures. Accordingly, timelines should be identified when the parents will reexamine, and possibly modify, the parenting plan.
Given the multifaceted nature and complexity of a parenting plan, it is advisable that parents confer with a mental health or family law professional who is well-versed in this arena.
Dr. Deborah Ribnick is a licensed psychologist who has had a clinical and forensic practice since 1996. She currently provides psychotherapy services to adolescents, adults, couples and families. She also provides collaborative divorce and divorce mediation services, child custody consultation and parent coordination services following separation or divorce in Nevada.
If you have questions about how to file for divorce in Nevada, divorce cost or need to find a divorce attorney in Reno, Nevada Collaborative Divorce Professionals can help make the process easier. To connect with Dr. Ribnick, visit her profile here.
Dr. Ribnick was drawn to the collaborative divorce model because she believes in promoting and facilitating constructive interpersonal interactions.
Individuals can be considerate, if not kind, even when it is clear that the marital relationship needs to end. When children are involved, it is even more important to foster a respectful rapport between the parents.
By design, the collaborative model helps the divorcing parties to discuss what is important to each of them, including identifying how they wish for the divorce process to proceed.
Beyond the customary tasks of identifying and dividing up property and assets, other important areas are addressed such as how to interact with extended (ex) family, how to interact when at the same events, when and how to communicate regarding co-parenting decisions and how to interact during future milestone occasions (e.g., celebrations such as graduation and weddings, the birth of grandchildren and how to deal with calamities such as a family illness).
An additional draw of the collaborative model for Dr. Ribnick is being part of a team of professionals who value helping the divorcing couple achieve resolution. This is different than the traditional (litigation-based) legal model which has more of a win–lose orientation and accordingly, may fuel animosity between the parties.
The collaborative approach is less likely to create damage during the divorce process and may, much to the surprise of the divorcing couple, improve their rapport in the years ahead.
Dr. Deborah Ribnick is a licensed psychologist who has had a clinical and forensic practice since 1996. She currently provides psychotherapy services to adolescents, adults, couples and families. She also provides collaborative divorce and divorce mediation services, child custody consultation and parent coordination services following separation or divorce in Nevada.
If you have questions about how to file for divorce in Nevada, divorce cost or need to find a divorce attorney in Reno, Nevada Collaborative Divorce Professionals can help make the process easier. To connect with Dr. Ribnick, visit her profile here.
The process of selling a family home under the best of circumstances can be a highly charged situation. Now add to this process divorce and consider the emotions at play if any of the following are involved: children, a court order to sell the home, one or both participants involved wish to retain the home or if there’s uncertainty as to where parties will relocate following the divorce.
The question in the minds of those involved is often, where do I begin and how will I ever get through this?
As an educated, trained and experienced realtor and mediator, Liz Gonzalez understands the importance of breaking down the process of selling a home and communicating that to all involved in the process.
This is done by working with the participants to complete the following steps:
1) Identify specific goals, so all are clear in what the parties are working to achieve,
2) Create a list of priorities from the perspective of each participant which assists all in remaining focused on important issues,
3) Establish a clear plan to the end goal by breaking the process into parts and focusing on the completion of each part. This helps to avoid the overwhelming feeling of the big picture, especially divorce cost,
4) Lastly, communicating to the participants that challenges will arise but everyone will work through them as they occur.
To effectively move through this process agreement or acceptance from all parties at each step is key. This can be accomplished through clear and concise communication.
Liz helps participants through the process by keeping the following in mind: if the emotions of participants remain in check, they will experience more control of the process and the ability to achieve their desired outcome. There is comfort in clarity, and the participants need to understand what is taking place through each phase of the process and the importance of each phase in achieving the end goal.
The need for participants to be heard/validated is a key component. Liz’s goal is to reach the end goal which was established at the onset. In reaching that goal, the parties need to see and feel their views or opinions have been heard.
Liz’s experience is that acceptance and closure often result not from complete agreement, but from participants understanding how to file for divorce in Nevada and the ‘whys’ of the process of divorce mediation.
Liz Gonzalez is a member of the Reno/Sparks Association of Realtors and has extensive experience in real estate, negotiation, sales, marketing and design. She is a certified mediator and places honesty and integrity cornerstone in all her dealings with divorce in Nevada.
Get in touch with her at Nevada Collaborative Divorce Professionals here.
I have watched my clients struggle with the traditional litigation model that we have in place for divorce in Nevada. It is a flawed system – but it is what we have. Certainly, litigation has its place. That said, it makes sense to me that people working in the Reno divorce arena have inquired about other options.
Working toward a trial is difficult. Seeing failed divorce mediation and failed settlement discussions, and to be left with nothing but Reno family court as the only option to reach a resolution is hard. We can do divorce in a way that builds you up as a person, instead of tearing you apart. Enter – collaborative divorce.
We can separate your finances without depleting them. When people have nothing left emotionally and are financially depleted, it begs the question: is there a better way?
Yes, there is!
I have walked with my clients down the divorce litigation path. To say this is a struggle is an understatement. Divorce without court and working together to meet both parties' needs means there is more of the pie left to split at the end of the day.
Couples do not have to bring each other down. You can be at your adult child’s graduation, wedding, etc. and stand there together with respect.
Melissa L. Exline, Esq.
Working with families to bring some peace to the chaos that can dominate during the divorce process demands a special, people-centered approach. Melissa does not have cases, she deals with people — people that matter deeply. Her practice focuses on divorce and custody cases, and she prefers to work with clients to reach an amicable resolution. Melissa prides herself on an honest, straight-forward approach to family law, truly becoming a team with her clients, and always putting the children first when custody is a dominating element.
Melissa is Vice President of NCDP (2016) and on its board of directors. In addition, she is a member of the Nevada Justice Association and works to lobby in the area of family law.
Get in touch with this divorce lawyer in Reno here.
Many parents face issues with their children voicing that they do not want to go to the other parent’s home when the parties have divorced and agreed to a custody schedule. There is really no defined age at which a child can determine their own schedule.
If the custody schedule determines that the child is to go to the other parent’s home on a certain day and the child states he or she does not want to go, what are the options for the parent who does not want to be found to be in contempt of court for failure to require the child to go to the other parent’s home?
There are instances where a child simply states they do not want to go to the other parent’s home. The custodial parent should calmly ask if there's any reason why, which could be legitimate such as feeling sick and afraid they will throw up, etc. The custodial parent should ask the child about their symptoms, take their temperature and assess the situation.
If there does not appear to be a valid sickness, the custodial parent should tell the child that the other parent will be advised of the symptoms, but the child still must go to the other parent’s home, as that parent loves the child and is looking forward to time with them. The custodial parent should first of all communicate with the other parent what is going on with the child on the custodian exchange date.
If the child continues to refuse to go, then this refusal should be communicated to the other parent. This communication should be about the child’s refusal, without any name calling or blaming the other parent. Approach the issue as if it is a joint issue that both parents need to help solve. It is both parent’s responsibility to adhere to the custody decree.
If the child continues to refuse to go, the custodial parent must advise the child that the custodial exchanges are every bit as important and a necessity as going to school. If your child does not want to go to school, a parent would only allow the child to stay home if he was demonstrably ill, and that they are required to stay in their room, in their bed and to rest, and that his or her phone and computer are not to be turned on until the end of the school day, dinner time etc.
If the child continues to refuse to go to the custodial parent’s home and he is not sick the custodial parent should advise the other parent of this behavior and that the child’s privileges will be taken away from them for this disobedient behavior. That could include loss of cell phone, loss of gaming privileges, grounding etc.
The primary requirement is to communicate with the other custodial parent without blaming them and to advise them what disciplinary action you intend to take.
If the disciplinary action does not work, therapy for the child and the parent the child does not want to see should be initiated. The child therapist will hold the child’s confidences, unless the therapist is required to call Child Protective Services to report child abuse. The therapist will likely meet with the child several times prior to asking the parent to attend that the child does not wish to visit. The purpose of the therapy is to help communication between parent and child so that the relationship may be get better or heal and to help the child and parent with tools so each can communicate better with the other.
If a parent neither communicates with the other parent, or supports the child’s wishes instead of the custody order and takes no disciplinary action towards the child, a court is likely to find the parent in contempt of court if the parent who is being denied visitation seeks relief through the court system.
Our Collaborative Team is here to work together to help separating parents who divorce in Nevada resolve their disagreements efficiently and respectfully outside of family court. Our team works to keep legal, emotional, financial and child custody matters from hindering a resolution that is fair to both parties and any children.
We at Nevada Collaborative Divorce Professionals believe that when mutual respect and a resolve to manage differences are maintained through collaborative divorce, moving forward has a realistic basis for success. With the more positive divorce mediation process this promotes, new beginnings and opportunities can take place.
Contact our divorce attorneys in Reno and across Nevada today and see how our team can help you stay out of courtroom litigation.
Gloria M. Petroni grew up on a farm in Yerington, Nevada. Her Italian father, who came to the U.S. at just 16 years old, was determined to make a better life for himself, a trait he also instilled in his children. With her father’s determination in mind, Ms. Petroni became the first lawyer in her family. She takes her mission of providing excellent representation based upon trust and respect seriously as she works for her clients day after day. Ms. Petroni believes that every client is entitled to dignity and support from their law firm and from their lawyer, and to know that they are in a safe place where their confidential matters are protected in the highest regard. Outside of her practice, she enjoys outdoor sports such as wakeboarding, skiing, golfing, and hiking. She’s up for any new travel or outdoor adventure.
Not only will the children be living in at least one new home as a result of the divorce, but the rules in each of those homes can be dramatically different. These parenting difference can be disruptive to the children’s established routines and frustrating for both parents.
One important area for parents to be on the same page is developing a common disciplinary strategy that does not include spanking or other physical punishment and yelling at or shaming the children. The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAAP@), discourages parents from spanking or yelling at children to shame them, finding that such strategies are minimally effective in the short term, not effective in the long term and can lead to an increased risk of negative behavioral, mental and emotional outcomes for children. Instead, AAP recommends that parents seek guidance from their pediatrician and use healthy forms of discipline, such as positive reinforcement of appropriate behaviors, setting limits, redirecting and setting future expectations as disciplinary strategies for their children.
Ideally, parents should discuss their parenting differences including different disciplinary strategies and try to come to agreement as to how to move forward post-divorce. Such discussions often do not take place between parents involved in conventional divorce because communications are strained, emotions are running high and parents have lost trust in each other.
Such discussions can and do take place during collaborative divorce, which provides a process in which a divorcing couple, together with trained professionals, work as a team to resolve disputes respectfully without going to court.
1. Mutual respect between the parties which leads to more productive discussions
2. A pledge from both parents to resolve issues without going to court
3. A complete and open exchange of information supported by face-to-face meetings between the parents and the collaborative team
4. A goal to develop effective relationships and solve problems jointly.
Divorcing parents have lifelong responsibilities to their children. By encouraging respectful interactions and cooperation between parents to address parenting differences, the collaborative process prepares parents and their family to move forward toward a healthy new life.
NCDP professionals work together to help contesting parties resolve their disagreements efficiently and respectfully outside of court. Our team works as a filter to keep legal, emotional, financial, property and child custody matters from hindering a resolution that is fair and acceptable to both divorcing parties and any children. NCDP’s team is composed of divorce lawyers, mental health, and financial professionals based out of Northern Nevada cities Reno, Sparks, Carson City, and Minden/Gardnerville. We can help your conflicts become resolved without going to court by negotiating mutually acceptable settlements.
We at Nevada Collaborative Divorce Professionals believe that when mutual respect and a resolve to manage differences are maintained through cooperative divorce, moving forward has a realistic basis for success. With the more positive process this method promotes, new beginnings and opportunities take root more quickly. Contact us today and see how our team can help your divorce stay out of courtroom litigation!
Judy Sheldrew has practiced family law with the Law Office of Karen L. Winters since 2004, after graduating summa cum laude from the William S. Boyd School of Law in Las Vegas. In law school, Ms. Sheldrew served on the editorial board of the Nevada Law Journal and worked as an intern with the Washoe County District Court Self-Help Center, where her interest in family law began. She practices primarily in rural northern Nevada, assisting clients in all aspects of family law. To get in touch with her, visit this link here.
Now that your divorce in Nevada is complete, there are just a few things that still need to be taken care of. You have your decree of divorce and you are set to start a new life. What do you need to do to protect yourself? Let Nevada Collaborative be your guide through your Reno divorce with the important steps listed below:
Let Nevada Collaborative Divorce Professionals Represent You in Your Reno Divorce
The knowledgeable and professional attorneys at Nevada Collaborative Divorce use the combination of legal, mental health, and financial professionals that are dedicated to representing your case. Our goal is to guide and support you through the Reno divorce process with compassion and care. What makes our services so unique is that we offer an entire team of professionals well-versed in their respective fields to assist you. Reno divorce attorneys, financial specialists, and mental health professionals make up your “Collaborative team”.
Nevada Collaborative Divorce Professionals work together to help contesting parties resolve their disagreements efficiently and respectfully outside of court. Connect with us today and see how our team can help your Reno divorce stay out of courtroom litigation!
About the Author: Gloria Petroni
Gloria M. Petroni grew up on a farm in Yerington, Nevada. Her Italian father, who came to the U.S. at just 16 years old, was determined to make a better life for himself, a trait he also instilled in his children. With her father’s determination in mind, Ms. Petroni became the first lawyer in her family. She takes her mission of providing excellent representation based upon trust and respect seriously as she works for her clients day after day. Ms. Petroni believes that every client is entitled to dignity and support from their law firm and from their lawyer, and to know that they are in a safe place where their confidential matters are protected in the highest regard. Outside of her practice, she enjoys outdoor sports such as wakeboarding, skiing, golfing, and hiking. She’s up for any new travel or outdoor adventure.
Emotional Support Resources For Your Child:
Child inclusive: In some cases, a child specialist will meet with the children to provide feedback to the collaborative team and parties. This is important because they are meeting in a neutral environment to provide feedback and information to help create a support plan for the children in the collaborative divorce process. This mental health professional can assess the feelings and needs of the child to help them feel a sense of support. They can also inform the parents of their child’s concerns and desires so these can be worked into the final parenting plan.
NCDP professionals work together to help contesting parties resolve their disagreements efficiently and respectfully outside of court. Our team works as a filter to keep legal, emotional, financial, property, and child custody matters from hindering a resolution that is fair and acceptable to both divorcing parties and any children. NCDP’s team is composed of divorce lawyers, mental health, and financial professionals based out of Northern Nevada cities Reno, Sparks, Carson City, and Minden/Gardnerville. We can help your conflicts become resolved without going to court by negotiating mutually acceptable settlements.
Our Melissa Exline, Vice President since 2016, focuses on divorce and custody cases and works with clients to reach an amicable resolution. She takes an honest, straight-forward approach to family law, always putting children first when custody is a high priority. A member of the Nevada Justice Association, you can find Melissa at Surratt Law Practice in Reno, Nevada.
We at Nevada Collaborative Divorce Professionals believe that when mutual respect and a resolve to manage differences are maintained through cooperative divorce, moving forward has a realistic basis for success. With the more positive process this method promotes, new beginnings and opportunities take root more quickly. Contact us today and see how our team can help your divorce stay out of courtroom litigation!
