One of the most difficult hurdles divorcing parents must overcome is adapting their children to their different parenting styles following divorce.

Not only will the children be living in at least one new home as a result of the divorce, but the rules in each of those homes can be dramatically different. These parenting difference can be disruptive to the children’s established routines and frustrating for both parents.

One important area for parents to be on the same page is developing a common disciplinary strategy that does not include spanking or other physical  punishment and yelling at or shaming the children.  The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAAP@), discourages parents from spanking or yelling at children to shame them, finding that such strategies are minimally effective in the short term, not effective in the long term and can lead to an increased risk of negative behavioral, mental and emotional outcomes for children.  Instead, AAP recommends that parents seek guidance from their pediatrician and use healthy forms of discipline, such as positive reinforcement of appropriate behaviors, setting limits, redirecting and setting future expectations as disciplinary strategies for their children.

Ideally, parents should discuss their parenting differences including different disciplinary strategies and try to come to agreement as to how to move forward post-divorce.  Such discussions often do not take place between parents involved in conventional divorce because communications are strained, emotions are running high and parents have lost trust in each other.  

Such discussions can and do take place during collaborative divorce, which provides a process in which a divorcing couple, together with trained professionals, work as a team to resolve disputes respectfully without going to court.

The collaborative process is based upon:

1. Mutual respect between the parties which leads to more productive discussions

2. A pledge from both parents to resolve issues without going to court

3. A complete and open exchange of information supported by face-to-face meetings between the parents and the collaborative team

4. A goal to develop effective relationships and solve problems jointly.

Divorcing parents have lifelong responsibilities to their children.  By encouraging respectful interactions and cooperation between parents to address parenting differences, the collaborative process prepares parents and their family to move forward toward a healthy new life.

About Nevada Collaborative Divorce Professionals

NCDP professionals work together to help contesting parties resolve their disagreements efficiently and respectfully outside of court. Our team works as a filter to keep legal, emotional, financial, property and child custody matters from hindering a resolution that is fair and acceptable to both divorcing parties and any children. NCDP’s team is composed of divorce lawyers, mental health, and financial professionals based out of Northern Nevada cities Reno, Sparks, Carson City, and Minden/Gardnerville. We can help your conflicts become resolved without going to court by negotiating mutually acceptable settlements.

We at Nevada Collaborative Divorce Professionals believe that when mutual respect and a resolve to manage differences are maintained through cooperative divorce, moving forward has a realistic basis for success. With the more positive process this method promotes, new beginnings and opportunities take root more quickly. Contact us today and see how our team can help your divorce stay out of courtroom litigation!

About The Author

Judy Sheldrew has practiced family law with the Law Office of Karen L. Winters since 2004, after graduating summa cum laude from the William S. Boyd School of Law in Las Vegas. In law school, Ms. Sheldrew served on the editorial board of the Nevada Law Journal and worked as an intern with the Washoe County District Court Self-Help Center, where her interest in family law began. She practices primarily in rural northern Nevada, assisting clients in all aspects of family law. To get in touch with her, visit this link here.

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